Thursday, 28 June 2012

Measuring happiness

Yesterday, on the occasion of the launch of the Save Childhood project, the Grauniad ran a piece on unhappiness in childhood, something this country seems to be particularly adept at causing:

Typically, though, they didn't mention the fatherlessness epidemic in their lists of ills. The Centre for Separated Families, though, said this week, in response to the government's consultation on changes to the Children Act 1989:

"Unless family mediators, Cafcass officers, social workers, child support professionals, children’s centre staff and all the other individuals and agencies that parents come into contact with start to work outside the lone parent paradigm, children will continue to miss out on the vital relationships that allow them to grow and develop into psychologically secure and fulfilled adults.'"

I am in the middle of a lot of white-collar court work at the moment, but I am left to worry about how you are getting on.

Your medical records tell me that you are hitting, spitting, biting, not sleeping when you should and sleeping in Mummy's bed when you do.

They tell me that you are scared of the bath, have successfully refused to go to nursery on occasion, and are scared of the abstract notion that someone you've not seen for 19 months is going to take you away. There is even a suggestion that someone you are calling 'Uncle' has appeared in your life and is acting as your confidante, whilst your Aunty is referring her own sister's parenting to health visitors for intervention.

Unfortunately, that doesn't sound like a very happy little boy to me. It would be a poor kind of father who wasn't bothered about that - and I am very bothered about it. For the time being, though, all I can do is paperwork.

Love from Daddy.

1 comment:

V said...

I echo, share and feel your pain. As I too sit here immersed in piles of paperwork (to avoid some cigar smoking family solicitor from getting any fatter) I think to my little girl. When I last saw her at home with both mummy and daddy - me - she was happy. However, the courts sought to protect her from me (???) and now three years later she is so much happier. Like you're little boy, sleeping badly, suffering nightmares of abandonment (wonder where that idea came from), kicking and punching the other kids in school and referred to CAAMH team for counselling. Good to know that our family courts know what is truly in the best interests of the child then. I recall a few court appearances ago when it emerged that she had another daddy now. The judge acted in her best interests and informed mother that she was not to allow my little girl to call this latest bf 'daddy'. The only order he made though was to ban me from ever seeing her again - not for anything I have done, or meant to have done, but to protect my daughters best interests. I swear I saw the briefest flash of fierce red light behind his eyes as he made the order. Then it was all back to normal. New daddy for my little girl, mother probably planning her next designer change of man (always moving up the financial scale) and I too my paperwork in an effort to throw pointless pebbles at the family court monster. All said and done, my ex wife is not the only happy one. The barrister was overhead telling her client about plans for her forthcoming holiday in the Caribbean. So good to know someone benefits from all this child abuse. Good luck sir, and all my thoughts to both you and your little boy.